We all know the people pleaser.  They want to give everyone or someone in particular exactly what they want.  They are agreeable.  They usually don’t have an opinion, at least one they’ll voice openly.  The appear to going with the flow.

People pleasing seems like a good solution.  You want people to like you.  You don’t want to cause any disagreement.  At least at first this seems like a good idea.  Eventually, trying to please everyone gets old, tiring, and not genuine.

Instead you shouldn’t be focused on giving people what they want.  You should be concerned with giving people what they need. They can get what they want from someone else but it takes a truly special person to take the time to understand someone. Then realize what they need to hear, see, or do in their life.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t ever give people what they want.  It’s just you shouldn’t make pleasing the default response in your life. After you’ve shown that you can give someone what they need, then you can give them what they want. Delaying the ‘want’, in this case, makes the act of giving much more enjoyable.

People try to please.  TV shows, and media in general, also try to please.  The majority of them try to give you what you want.  In TV, that typically bland thoughtless comedies or dramas.  Great TV gives you what you need.  They don’t give you what you want every episode. Sometimes there are things you disagree.  There could be things or characters you hate. Only after giving you what you need they can go give you something you want.  It makes the event so much better.  One of the best recent examples of this in TV was last night’s episode of Game of Thrones. For years, Game of Thrones has been killing off characters we love and delaying the killing of characters we despise.  After some episodes your left thinking about why something happened that we didn’t want. Last night, Game of Thrones finally game many of its viewers what they wanted. It’s what makes the show special.

The creators understand that they need to give us what we need before giving us what we want.

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